I Don't Want a Bigger Bed
by Shizuka Aralia
Summary: I'd been in love with Eduard for years. Too many to count actually. Would I finally be able to tell him? EstXLat One-shot AU


AN: Here's a one-shot of Estonia and Latvia! There sadly isn't much out there for them. I may write some smut for the two of them, but I'll post it as a different story. That way those who want the smut can read the other too, and those who don't can simply read this one. I hope you like it! Please review and let me know what you think!

I do not own Hetalia, Hidekazu Himaruya does. : )

-Aralia

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><p>He had fallen asleep in front of his laptop again. I wish he wouldn't do that. If only his job hadn't bought him one so he could finish reports at home. His back was always sore the next morning when he slept like that.<p>

"Eduard... Eduard... You need to sleep in bed..." I gently shook his shoulder.

"Hnn..." He shifted but didn't wake up.

We'd been living together for two years now. Both of us had been dumped when we were children. He was dumped on his grandmother, while I had been left at an orphanage. When he was eighteen he had started renting the apartment on his own saying that he didn't want to trouble his grandmother anymore.

He had surprised me when he asked.

"You should move in with me Raivis. I know that legally you have to stay at the orphanage... but... we'll they aren't exactly the greatest at keeping track. A good computer system would really help them keep all of their information straight..."

He had once again trailed off into computer talk. I never understood him and tended to start to day dream. This time though I couldn't. He wanted me to move in. Surely he didn't... He couldn't love me back could he?

"The point is we've been friends for a long time. I don't like thinking of you there."

I blushed and looked at the floor.

"Yes we're friends... I'd... I'd love to move in... but are you sure it will be alright?"

"You're sixteen now. Not exactly an adult, but you should be able to get some sort of part time job after school if we need the money."

Eduard thought of me just as much as I thought of him. And I loved him for it.

Now though I was frustrated. I was tired and wanted to go to bed. We were still very poor, and so we had only one twin bed. Eduard wouldn't let me get an after school job because he wanted me to study. In the end we couldn't afford one, and the only bed he had was the one his grandmother had given him. It was terribly small, but we'd slept that way for two years.

"Eduard... I'm tired and want to go to sleep... You always wake me up when you get in bed after me and then I can't sleep..." I had started whining and tugging on his shirt sleeve.

"Alright alright. I just wanted to see if you'd be sweet to me or not." He smiled over at me as he sat up.

"W-what?" I squeaked out, tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. I wish he wouldn't tease me so much. I'd been in love with him for at least seven years... maybe longer... and sleeping next to him and living with him didn't help my heart.

"Calm down Raivis. Let's go to bed." Eduard stood and ruffled my hair gently. I loved when he did that. His hands were gentle and he always smiled so handsomely at me...

I stood and followed him out of the living room into our bedroom. I was already in my pajamas and crawled into bed. Curling up in the corner by the wall I waited for him to finish brushing his teeth. I felt so stupid for holding onto my crush like this for so long... But when the most wonderful Estonian man on the earth sleeps in a twin bed with you every night it's a little difficult to let go. Finally he turned off the light and crawled into bed next to me.

"Head ӧӧd Raivis." He whispered as he snuggled into his pillow.

"Ar labunakti Eduard." I whispered back watching him slowly fall asleep.

I had to tell him. My eighteenth birthday had come and gone. I still couldn't tell him though. Not until I was on his level. I graduated in two days, and had already finished finals. I would tell him then. I'd finally be able to get a job and help him.

Eduard's breathing had become shallow and his hand had started twitching slightly. I always knew he was falling asleep when that happened. At first it had been scary, but once I had gotten used to it I found it cute. He had always looked handsome in his glasses, but I liked him better without them. Eduard always looked less stressed without them. He tended to squint when he wore them and it gave him odd lines on his forehead.

Eventually I fell asleep, wishing that I could snuggle into his chest and listen to his heart.

The next morning I woke up and the bed was empty. Eduard usually woke up first, but he didn't get far. I normally found him hunched over his laptop looking at the news. Then he would get side-tracked and stay on the computer almost all morning until he left for work. It drove me crazy. I never knew what he got so focused on. He'd tell me bits of world news while I made breakfast. Once we had eaten though he would become silent and would stare intently at the screen.

I sighed heavily and dragged myself out of bed. I wasn't ready to face the day. I'd been turning in job applications all over the city, but no one had contacted me. I was eighteen with only a high school education, and no former job experience. This was going to be difficult.

After cooking breakfast and hearing about the tensions between South Korea and China, I handed him his plate and sat down. Eduard was wonderful with many things, but his cooking was fairly bland. I wasn't exactly talented either, but it was better than his food. I picked at the eggs and stared at my juice.

"Eduard... I'm worried... what if I can't find a job?..." Tears welled up in my eyes again. I always cried when I was scared or stressed. I felt like a small child, but I couldn't help it. Eduard looked up at me and his brow furrowed slightly. Standing, he came over to me pulled me off of my chair, wrapping me in a hug. A long time ago, when we were still fairly young, he had started hugging me to calm me down. It always worked, but I knew he didn't know why.

"Raivis please don't worry. Things are going well at work. I should get a promotion soon. Besides something will turn up. Don't worry."

Eduard was so warm. He was so sturdy. I had grown some but was still only 5' 3"... It was quite embarrassing to be so small, but I loved that I was short when Eduard held me. Not that it happened often... but when he hugged me I could burry my face in his chest. He felt like he blocking the entire world out.

"S-sorry Eduard... I'm alright now..."

He let go, stepped back, and looked at me. I knew he was trying to tell if I was lying or if I really was alright. This time I was alright though, and he nodded at me, turning to sit back down at his computer. After we had both finished eating he cleared the table and washed our dishes. I headed to the bathroom and undressed for the shower. After staring at my tiny pitiful self in the mirror I got into the shower and turned the water on. I had to make it quick, and started scrubbing my hair immediately. We limited how much water we used and how much electricity. Eduard tried to charge his laptop at the end of work so the battery would last through the evening and next morning. If our bills got too high we had to live off of cheap canned food.

After my very quick shower, I dressed and went back into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Eduard suddenly was standing in the doorway watching me.

"Wut ish id?" I couldn't really speak with my toothbrush in my mouth, but he just smiled at me and moved further into the tiny bathroom. "Wut?" I repeated.

"Your hair is still wet Raivis." He grabbed the towel I had just hung up and tossed it lightly over my head. My heart sped up to a ridiculous speed as he started drying my hair.

Eduard didn't touch me much. Hugs were a special time where he was close to me, but it was only when I was upset. Mostly he stayed a little ways away, and rarely gave me little touches like patting my shoulder. I tried to keep brushing my teeth as he ruffled my hair with the towel.

"That is better." Eduard's voice was soft as he hung the towel back up. I watched him in the mirror until I realized that toothpaste was dripping down my chin. I spit into the sink and then stared at it for a minute. Eduard had touched me. He never did that. Why now? Why did he do something as wonderfully sweet as drying my hair?

"Are you alright Raivis?..."

"J-jā!" I was so nervous I had switched back into Latvian... As I rinsed my mouth I heard him leave the bathroom. I assumed he was heading to the bedroom to change for work. It was getting late and I needed to leave. I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. At school we just mostly had a bit of paperwork and some activities they were making us do. I wasn't too excited since I didn't really talk to anyone at school. But it was almost over so I could be thankful for that.

"Eduard I'm leaving now! Have a good day at work!" I called to him through the bedroom door.

"Have a good day at school. I'll see you when I get off." His muffled reply came through the door, and I left the apartment.

School was as boring as usual, except even more so since classes had already ended. Our grades were being finalized, and tomorrow was only a half day. In the evening the graduation ceremony would take place. After that I would never have to walk down these halls with everyone towering over me. Even Lili, the most girly girl I knew, was taller than me. It was humiliating, especially when she tried to talk to me as she waited for her brother Vash to pick her up. I usually tried to make an excuse and leave quickly. Besides her height being embarrassing, her brother was terrifying. He made me cry once when he thought I was hitting on Lili...

I walked in the door of our apartment and dropped my bag into a chair at the table. Eduard wouldn't be home for three more hours. I knew I needed to clean some and keep looking for jobs, but I was so tired I just wanted to nap. I took off my shoes and curled up on the couch. The one pillow we had Eduard always laid his head on, and over time it started smelling like him. The entire apartment smelt like him, but the pillow was my favorite. I buried my face in it and took a deep breath.

The next thing I knew a soft hand was petting my hair. I didn't know anyone who pet my hair though and so I woke up with a bit of a shock. When I opened my eyes there was Eduard, his hand outstretched, crouching in front of me.

"I'm sorry Raivis... I didn't mean to wake you up..."

"I-its okay! Um... what's up? I'm mean you're sitting here petting me..." I trailed off realizing I had said too much. Eduard blushed and pulled his hand back.

"Sorry..." He stood up and walked back into the kitchen. Was he angry with me? Why?...

Slowly I sat up and got off the couch. Stepping into the kitchen I watched him pull bowls out of the cupboard.

"Wait you made dinner? How long have you been home? Why didn't you wake me up sooner? I'm so sorry I fell asleep!" I was becoming a little frantic. Since I had woken up everything seemed to be odd. I glanced at the clock and blanched. It said seven fourteen. I'd been asleep for over four hours.

"It isn't done just yet. I was going to wake you when it was, but I guess I did that early. Don't worry about dinner. I don't mind cooking, and you were tired." He looked at me as he put the bowls on our little scuffed table. It had been built by his grandfather and over the years had been... well loved. Eduard didn't always smile, but I sometimes could tell when he really meant to but for some reason just didn't. This was one of those times.

"Eduard... Why are you acting so oddly?..." I sat down at the table and looked up at him in confusion.

He didn't answer me, and instead stepped to the stove and stirred what I assumed to be soup. "Would you mind pulling out some bread?" Eduard's voice was soft. Softer than it should be. I got the bread out and set it on the table in between our bowls. As I watched him stir the soup with a serious face I decided to not ask about his behavior again. Something was wrong, but he wouldn't tell me if he had ignored my question. If he had answered with an 'Nothing.' or 'I'm fine.' I would have been able to eventually weasel it out of him.

Tonight though we sat in silence and ate our dinner. As I washed the dishes, whoever didn't cook always washed them after dinner, Eduard pulled out his laptop and began typing away.

That damned laptop. He was a quiet man... but before that stupid laptop had showed up we had talked more. At breakfast, and in the evening he always would ask me how my day was or talk to me about work. Sometimes he even played cards with me. We didn't have a television so we couldn't watch movies, but once he brought home book on tape that we listened to together. It was a murder mystery and the nights where I was scared after listening to the next chapter he let me cuddle a little closer to him at night... I wanted that now... I wanted that old CD player to play a terrifying murder mystery and have Eduard smile over at me as I started to get scared. I wanted to go to bed and be frightened of the shadows from the window. I wanted him to let me sleep curled up against him, knowing I was safe as long as sturdy calm Eduard was there.

But it wouldn't happen. I was still tired even after my nap, and very stressed. Tonight I did not feel like Eduard ignoring me for a stupid piece of electronics, and so I huffed angrily into the bedroom and curled up on the bed. I stared at the ceiling for a bit and then decided to distract myself with a book. It was difficult at first, but eventually I got myself to focus on a World War II history book. Before I knew it I was getting extremely sleepy, and after glancing at the clock I realized it was half past ten. I put the book down and walked into the kitchen to see Eduard still sitting at the computer studying something. It was probably something stupid and pointless. Why was I so upset?

"I'm going to bed." I stated in a quiet voice. I had tried to sound angry, but it didn't come out the right way. I sounded like I was asking permission. Upset with myself for messing up my pout, I stormed into the bathroom. After bruising my gums with a rather violent toothbrushing, I got in bed and turned to face the wall.

Eduard wasn't coming to bed. Fine. I'd sleep without him.

When I awoke to my alarm going off I realized Eduard wasn't in bed. Eduard had never been in bed. I would have known. The sheets were entirely untouched on his side. Over time I had learned to sleep without moving around. When we first started sleeping in the same bed I had kicked Eduard a lot. He would brood the next morning trying to pretend I wasn't a bother.

"Eduard?" I finally found him―still at the computer. "Did you sleep last night? What are you doing?" I walked over to him to look at the screen, but before I could he had shut it.

"I was just working. No I didn't sleep, but I feel fine. Don't worry. I have to go to work now, but I'll be there for your graduation ceremony. I'll see you there alright?" Eduard stood and started packing his laptop away into his shoulder bag.

"You're leaving now? It's only six... you don't leave until nine. Why did you stay up all night?" Again he ignored all of my questions and turned away from me.

"I'll see you tonight. Have a good day Raivis."

And then I was standing alone in the kitchen with tears streaming down my face. Eduard was making no sense and was being ridiculous. One minute he was petting me and the next he was ignoring me.

I spent the half day at school in a bad mood. Lili tried to talk to me, but I was too busy brooding. I came home and got ready for the graduation ceremony. After returning to the school I sat and waited in the cafeteria as they told us how to line up, and what order we would be in. Eventually it was time and we walked, a single file line, into the auditorium. There weren't that many of us, and so it was easy to arrange everyone walking across the small stage. Because we were seated up at the front I had no way of knowing if Eduard had actually made it. When they called my name I walked mechanically across the stage. I took my diploma and shook the principle's hand. After sitting down I was disappointed. I was supposed to feel proud wasn't I? Elated? Something? But Eduard's odd behavior, my unsure difficult future, and my unrequited love for my roommate all left me feeling slightly... numb. That was it.

Lili hugged me after the ceremony and Vash immediately pulled her away from me. She blushed and waved goodbye to me saying congratulations. Vash was far too overprotective. Suddenly a hand rested on my shoulder and I turned to see Eduard smiling at me. It was one of the widest smiles I'd seen in a long time. Why was his mood changing so much?

"Are you ready to go home? I have a surprise for you." I simply nodded and we took the bus home. Finally he was unlocking the front door and I followed him in. Going home when I was in a bad mood always seemed to take forever. I had taken off my robe at school, and I laid it on the couch throwing myself on the cushions after it. As the first tears started to fall I grabbed the Eduard pillow and smothered my face in it. I cried silently until I heard two cups being set down on the coffee table. A heavy weight sat next to me, and a soft warm hand began to stroke my hair.

"Raivis?..." Eduard's voice was quiet as he tried to pull me up. I didn't want him to look at me, and so I fought to stay crying in the pillow. However, he was much stronger than me and eventually won.

"Raivis why are you crying?" He pulled me into a soft hug. I was practically in his lap, and my chest was starting to hurt. Did he have to do this to me? Today of all days? When I already felt this way? Why was he breaking my heart?

"Because I have no job and no future. I am exhausted for no reason and extremely lonely. I'm in love with you and you like your computer more than me!" Before I had realized it I had sobbed out everything into his chest. His hand, which had been rubbing my back gently, had faltered for a moment when I had told him I loved him... I had told him I loved him... I began to cry harder at this realization.

Eduard said nothing. He held me until I stopped crying and didn't say a word. I knew he had heard me. It was a bad sign... Eventually I wore myself out and couldn't cry anymore. At least that's what I thought.

Eduard lifted my chin and looked into my red puffy eyes.

"I love you too my little Latvian."

And then he kissed me. It was soft and chaste. It was warm and long. It was perfect.

I started crying again. I couldn't help it. I was on emotional and mental overload after he kissed me. If Eduard had liked me back why hadn't he said anything? This time though he tried to calm me down.

"I'm sorry I've been so difficult the past few days. I have been up for a promotion at work and I was worried they may give it to someone else. I was up last night finishing a class I had been taking online for a few months. I finished two of them, while my competition only did one. I got the promotion at a meeting with my boss today. That was why I couldn't go with you early to your graduation. I'm so sorry I had to leave, and no I don't love my computer more than you. Though I must admit I do love it." He would end with that. I stopped crying and looked up at him.

"And this promotion was so important why?" I huffed at him, my brow furrowed and my lip pouting slightly.

"Because it was a big promotion. I am now in charge of my division, and my pay is doubled. You don't have to worry about a job as much now, and we can get a few nice things. If we save up we can even get a bigger bed." He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"You were doing it for me?..."

"I love you." Eduard's lips were now next to my ear. His voice was low and I shivered slightly at his warm breath.

And then I decided to stop asking questions. I grabbed his chin and kissed him. I had been dreaming of this for years. I dreamt of his smell. His warmth. His taste. Eduard was addicting. He kissed me passionately until I was breathless, his tongue gliding over mine.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you... I wanted to be able to take care of you first." His eyes were closed and his hot forehead was leaned against mine.

"I'm not a woman Eduard." I blushed and turned away. Before I could get very far though two arms wrapped around me and pulled me into Eduard's lap. My blush grew much darker as I rested with my cheek against his chest. It was true. Eduard did block out the world. In the most wonderful way possible.

"I brought you home a surprise."

I glanced up at him confused. "I thought this was my surprise."

He laughed lightly and shook his head. Eduard shifted me off of his lap and stood. After rummaging in his bag for a minute, he pulled out a CD case— a murder mystery audiobook.

"Would you like to listen to it while we make dinner?" I had never seen Eduard act sheepishly in my entire life. It was adorable.

"I'd love to." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him, just barely reaching his mouth.

It was odd how easily we slid back into everyday life after we had confessed our feelings, but I was happy that way. I loved the little things Eduard and I did. I couldn't believe he had brought home an audiobook for us... We cooked dinner and ate listening to it. It was one of the better ones he had brought home, and by the time we were getting ready for bed I was jumping at the noises of our apartment building settling. Sometimes it sounded frighteningly close to someone walking through the rooms.

We brushed our teeth next to each other, and as usual I was the first to get into bed. Eduard followed quickly after me, and after he turned off the lap he turned to face me in bed. I laid very still for a long moment staring back at him.

"Do you not... do you not want to snuggle up next to me? Aren't you scared?" He sounded slightly worried and continued to watch me.

"M-may I?..." I wanted to. Even if I wasn't scared I would have wanted to. I wanted him to kiss me more. I wanted him to hold me.

Without a word Eduard reached his arms out and pulled me close to his chest. I finally was listening to his heart, and it was beating just as quickly as mine was. Eduard loved me. Eduard was holding me. He leant his head down and kissed the crown of my head.

"Eduard?..." I whispered softly to him as he continued to kiss my hair.

"Hmm?" He had begun working down and his lips were now moving closer to my ear.

"I... I don't want a bigger bed..."

For a moment he was still. Then he chuckled lightly as he pulled my chin up. After staring into my eyes long enough to speed my heart rate up even more, his kissed my lips.

"Neither do I."

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><p>AN: Thanks again for reading! Please please please review! :3 I'd really like to know what everyone thinks, and if any of you would be interested in smut for this pairing. I will love you forever if you review!<p> 


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